By Holly M. Onorato, CPRS

In my capacity as a Recovery Coach and SMART Recovery meeting facilitator, I am honored to
assist hundreds of people in their recovery journey. One thing that often comes up is this: ‘I wish
I had gotten sober earlier.’

The fact is, we live in a culture that is heavily reliant on alcohol as a tool to celebrate or soothe
the ache of loss (and everything in between). Wine is even used in Church!
It’s also incorporated in many activities where it never was, such as themed yoga classes and
Paint n Sip art classes. It’s also a staple in many hobbies such as bowling, Super Bowl parties,
and golf outings. It’s usually present in business meetings too. It’s not hard to see why it’s so
appealing to teens and adolescents – ALCOHOL IS EVERYWHERE and so is marijuana, now
that it’s legal in many states.

‘Partying’ or getting wasted is often viewed as a rite of passage, going out to the bar at 21,
sneaking your parent’s liquor early in adolescence – finishing those half-empty glasses at family
gatherings, like weddings (for many of us). Adults make it look fun, casual, and often glamorous.
Children are usually sheltered from the aftermath, the realities of hangovers, headaches, and
sickness the next day, being couch-bound and resorting to tactics like the ole ‘hair of the dog.’
All kids see is the ‘fun’ stuff, not the reality. However, if they’re looking closely enough, they willnotice the changes taking place, as a direct result of alcohol – people talking louder, acting sillier
than usual, becoming more argumentative, or teary-eyed. Importantly, it lowers inhibitions,
wherein adults under the influence are more inclined to offer minors a sip of alcohol to toast with
or try, which they might never consider in a sober state. Or with marijuana, they’ll smell it, notice
the red eyes, munchies, and personality changes when they ‘come down’ or don’t have
anymore. There’s nothing pleasant about all of that.

This issue hits close to home for me. I was warned at an early age of the dangers of substance
abuse and lectured countless times that addiction affected many of our family members, both on
my mother’s and father’s sides, as well as with them, which I witnessed. Yet, despite all that, I
conveniently filed those warnings and memories in the back of my mind as I proceeded to get
as obliterated as possible, whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Unfortunately, these habits accompanied me well into adulthood, until I became a mother
myself. Only then did I take accountability for my addiction and start the process of healing,
mainly for the benefit of my children, but also for myself because the discomfort of staying the
same one more day was unbearable. But once I began a new life in recovery, I also kicked
myself for not listening to my parents and not embarking on recovery much earlier.
Finding recovery in youth offers several benefits, including:

❖ Prevention of long-term negative consequences, such as recurring treatment, legal
issues, and damaged relationships
❖ Improved health, endurance, and strength
❖ The ability to develop healthy coping mechanisms and stress management
❖ Maximized potential for personal growth, increased focus at school, college, work, etc.
❖ Stronger relationships, based on truth and accountability
❖ Development of strong support systems
❖ Personal freedom, especially financially
❖ Allows young people to reclaim their lives and futures by addressing addiction early on
❖ A more fulfilling life
No one sets out to be an addict or contemplates treatment in the future, either for themselves or
their children. Sadly many people have to learn the hard way, but it’s never too early to talk to
your children about the dangers of substance use. Sheltering them from the realities of addiction
does more harm than good.

If you suspect your child may be experimenting with drugs or alcohol, talk to them about it and
reach out to their guidance counselor for more support. Many treatment centers offer
specialized treatment for young people and there are specific recovery meetings as well, both in
person and virtually. Talk therapy is also a good place to start if you suspect your child may be
self-medicating or self-harming.

Modeling behavior is important, set a good example. It’s normal for kids to be curious and even
experiment. But when substances are being used daily, in the home, as a coping mechanism, it
only increases curiosity and makes it more attractive and accessible.
Make a point of doing things as a family without the use of alcohol, nicotine, or marijuana, so
they know it’s possible to have fun sober! Get them involved in after-school activities such as
sports, art, music lessons, and Big Brother programs to keep them active and engaged. Too
much downtime is not healthy.

For more information check out –

https://youngpeopleinrecovery.org/
https://www.getsmartaboutdrugs.gov/find-help
988 Suicide & Crisis Line
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/helplines/national-helpline